Friday, March 5, 2010

Rant #1

You ever sit down to do something, and in that process of doing something your mind wanders off? You begin to think about something completely unrelated to what you were about to do. For instance, you sit down at your laptop, ready to hit the 'sign in' button to your email because you're hoping you've gotten something from Federal Student Aid; this excites you. After about half a millisecond you click that button, you think about sitting on a makeshift stool, milking cows. Then you start wondering about it, look back at your screen then think about why you were checking your email. You HATE that you do this. You hate that this happens. You then start to hate your laptop, and wonder why it's such a piece of crap. I mean, you spent $1500 on this thing, and yet it runs slow as shit. Then you feel a strange pressure in your bowels. Well this is completely unrelated to that.

I realized today how pathetic my life is so far.

I've waited about five months to get into school, which has been turning out the way I planned minus the timing. Yesterday, I received a phone call from a woman, whom I'm sure is annoyed with me; she told me that I have been admitted. Literally speaking here, I jumped and screamed not only because I was happy, but because I was so happy, I felt crazy. JUST like David after dentist. I know my parents aren't too excited about my leaving the state [zooms to mom and dad in the kitchen *crickets*]. It'll be worth it. So, now, down to a little less than a month, I have NOTHING to do with my life. I bake. I text two-three people. I play wow, again. Sigh. And I work. My job keeps me crazy occupied. I think I scored with my work at this point in my life, which is sad because my life plays out like this: work > social life. Because social life, DOES NOT EXIST. Why? Because of my one friend. Actually no, because I'm picky. It's hard to find friends here in south San Diego. I still blame this one friend though, she doesn't get away with shit. There is a possible second friend here, but she's in FUCKING OKLAHOMA. I love you Marie.

So not only do I rely on a kiddy pool of social networking, but I've found that entertaining myself through trolling people I don't know and don't like has been high on the list of interest. Example: Facebook. Who? I'd rather not say, but this person is someone I don't exactly care for. Why? Because he's in love with me. Why?...again? Well, it's not as bad as it sounds; I'm not explaining the story. Like I said, my life is pathetic. I've no one else to give my time to, so it will be given those people who ask, probably not in the most gracious of ways. I feel like an asshole. But hey, I'm happy. Real happy. It's been a while.

My oldest brother came to visit a couple days ago. He lost so much weight; I was so proud of him. There was no starving, no surgery, no crazy pills, just healthy eating and Muay Thai. I love that he's gotten into this fighting style. We talked for a long time about his whole change. His trainer is named Waachim Spiritwolf. I kinda flipped. Spiritwolf? Are you kidding me? That has to be one of the best last names ever. My brother mentioned how he was Native American. Then he mentioned that WE were part Native American. I have never heard this news and refused to believe it. That changed when I was looking for my parents tax forms from 2008. I found my dads birth certificate and looked it over. Then I saw that Grandma Edna was from freakin Canada. What does that mean? I'm 1/4 Canadian. How the hell?!?! Why are there so many things my parents decide NOT to bring up. You can't exactly specify on some application that you're American/Filipino/Canadian/Native American, but it's still nice to know.

As much as I'd like to keep this going (we have something good going here) I HAVE to sleep. Because I'm OLD now. AGE is GREAT. I think I've said enough here anyway.

1 comment:

  1. We both have no social life, so don't feel left out. :)
    I love you, Hannah.